Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We had to coat check the pizza.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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