we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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