she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
