Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
