When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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