So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You can't motorboat a personality
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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