Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
