He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
