Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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