You're completely useless in the revolution.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
