Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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