Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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