u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
