I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
