Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
