I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Is it because I queefed?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
