I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
