Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
