I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
