He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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