her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
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When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
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Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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