I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
