its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
