Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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