i don't like sucking hair
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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