yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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