I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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