Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
