I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
