Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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