and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Your penis caused this!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
