I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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