i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
