found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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