make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
