Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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