All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize