just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
