Your dad touched me again.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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