I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
