so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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