Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
