I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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