No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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