Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
