i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
