Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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