As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
