Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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