I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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