i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize