I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
