Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
