1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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