The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
