It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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