Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I fill condoms, not promises.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
