I can't breathe out the right side of my face
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
